How to Handle Valentine’s Day - For Singles, Couples, Newly Separated and Newly Together.
Valentine’s day.
Valentine’s Day can feel like a lot- hearts, roses, dinners ‘for two’ and an unspoken pressure to feel something special.
But what if, instead of obligation, we approached it with curiosity, self-compassion and intention?
No matter your relationship status - single, coupled, newly separated, newly together - Valentine’s Day can be meaningful without being overly significant. It can remind us to tend to connection, self-care and emotional wellbeing.
where valentine’s day comes from.
Valentine’s Day has roots in Ancient Rome and early Christian traditions, linked to the feast of Saint Valentine. People began exchanging notes and tokens of affection as early as the 18th century in Europe. Today commercial forces like florist, chocolatiers and greeting cards have amplified it into the mass-market holiday we know.
commercialisation and choosing your own approach.
The pressure to buy, impress or perform can be overwhelming. But Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be transactional. It’s a chance to notice what connection really looks like for you:
How can you show care without overspending?
What feels meaningful rather than performative?
How can you mark the day intentionally, without pressure?
Reframing Valentine’s Day this way allows it to become a checkpoint, not a milestone that defines worth or happiness.
for singles: self-care and connection.
Being single doesn’t mean exclusion - it means self-connection and community take centre stage.
Ideas for singles:
Self-date: Cook a favourite meal, journal or enjoy a mindful walk.
Connect with others: Share coffee with friends or family.
Reflect: Consider what you value in relationships and what you’re learning about yourself.
Give Back: Volunteer or practice small acts of kindness.
Feeling lonely or overwhelmed? Lifeline (13 11 14) offers 24/7 support in Australia.
for couples: reconnecting without pressure.
For couples Valentine’s Day can be a reminder to reconnect - without expensive gifts or elaborate plans.
Ways to reconnect:
Cook together or share a meal mindfully.
Unplug: Turn off devices and focus on presence.
Express Appreciation: Share what you value about each other.
Try Something New: Walk a new trail or explore a local spot.
If conversations feel stuck, Relationships Australia (1300 364 277) offers counselling to support couples and individuals in Adelaide and across Australia.
for the newly separated or heartbroken.
Valentine’s Day can feel especially tough if you’re newly separated or processing a breakup.
Gentle Approaches:
Give Yourself Permission Not to Celebrate: Honouring your feelings is healthy.
Shift the Narrative: Focus on your healing, resilience and self-compassion.
Reach Out: Talk with a friend, counsellor or support service if needed.
Lifeline or Relationships Australia are good places to start.
for the newly together.
New relationships can make Valentine’s Day feel like a test. But authenticity matters more than performance.
Ideas for New Couples:
Low-Pressure dates: Coffee, walks or a simple picnic.
Share Values: Ask ‘What makes you feel cared for?’
Build Rituals: Start small habits like a shared playlist or reflection evenings.
Intentional communication sets a foundation beyond February 14th.
budget-friendly ways to mark the day.
Valentine’s Day can be meaningful without spending money:
Write a Letter: To yourself or someone that means a lot to you.
Plant something: A seed or plant represents growth.
Mindful Walk: Notice sights, sounds and your feelings.
Shared Playlist: Celebrate connection through music.
Memory Box: Collect meaningful items or notes.
Emotional connections comes from intention, not expense.
valentine’s day emotional wellbeing.
Valentine’s Day can stir big emotions - joy, anxiety, grief, hope. That’s normal.
Mental Wellbeing Tips:
Notice Your Feelings: Name them - ‘I feel lonely’, ‘I feel hopeful’.
Reach out: Connection protects wellbeing.
Practice Self-Compassion: Speak to yourself as you would a friend.
Limit social media: Avoid comparing your story to highlight reels.
supportive australian based resources.
Relationships Australia SA: Counselling for couples 1300 364 277
Lifeline: 24/7 support 13 11 14
Safe Space Therapies (me 😘)
valentine’s day check in.
Think of Valentine’s Day as an invitation - to connect, reflect and care - not a test of worth.
It’s a chance to:
Notice your emotional state.
Express care in ways that feel authentic.
Honour meaningful connections.
Practice self-compassion and presence.
It’s about marking time intentionally, rather than achieving perfection.
